Tired has become a perpetual state of mind in my life. I have little memory of functionality prior to this state. Seriously, everything must have been so much clearer. Even if I get what I would consider a full night’s sleep, I still have multiple people telling me that I look tired… aka a less direct way of saying you look like shit. There is nothing I’d rather do right now than slam my head down on this not-so-cushiony keyboard and pass out, but that is so not an option. We are a week from finals week. Meaning, I have 20 pages to write, with 0 done. I must also learn approximately 30 chapters of physics and a few chapters of anthropology. Ugh; I need something to look forward to, I’d like to think that I’m driving myself to the grave for a reason… but 3 years, ahem (ok let’s be honest) 4 years is too far off to see some positive repercussions.

Hillarie, Karina, Leah, Joanna, and I had a water balloon fight today because the 97º weather kind of took us by an unfortunate surprise. I actually enjoyed it whenever I was out of my room. See, the Housing Dept here at USD, doesn’t feel the need to flip on our A/C until the 10^th hot day in a row, which is kind of a bitch. So Jo went and bought a big-ass box fan today for like $11—probably the best $11 ever spent. After our fight we made Sunday dinner and had a merry ole time. :D It was good. So was Thursday night... top night.-->

So course load for next semester?, one may doubtably be interested in learning… well, I will be busy digging my grave deeper and deeper with my 18 credit load. It includes Criminal Law, Calc., Spanish, Writing and Research for CJus, and Geography (which will be my only sanity insurance). Ya, so if you have the chance, make sure you say hello to me over the summer. Well, until next time…

bathroom vortexes

I'm pretty sure that the funniest thing you can ever do in a bathroom is point the blower on the hand dryer directly at your face and simultaneously check out your reflection; it's fucking hilarious. I mean sure, your hair ends up looking like shit but at least you got a good laugh out of the deal and you can always tell your friends that you just went through a vortex. :D haha, oh God. Finals, in a week and a half?!?! hmm.... ya. tell me you're all envious... i know, i know.

There's nothing I want more than for finals to be over, however that would mean that it's summer. What was once the most splendid and euphonious time of year in Mikayla's life is now downcast by the fact that her best friend, and sole confidant, is leaving for the whole of the season- including Mikayla's birthday. Oh, and another dark shining tidbit about the upcoming summer is that Mikayla's expected job will require her to work nights, weekends, holidays, up to 14 days straight, and occasionally for periods of time exceeding 24 hours... my, what a gem.

Today is the first day of the rest of our lives, right... well God, does it have to be so bleak?? Oh God. I've heard rumors that blogs only ever turn into pity parties and it's so fucking true. Hopefully I'll add to this later in a more positive light... Wait! Fuck later; My family and I are moving!!! We won the bid on one of the most beautiful houses I've ever seen and we're moving in this summer!!! However it'll be a long-ass way away from our current residence... which sucks, but we'll manage. Here, I'll put in a picture for your personal enjoyment.

So, strange as this sounds, today a self-proclaimed mind-reader/illusionist said what I've been trying to for months:

"We are all actors and actresses, playing the role of adults."

When we look at a picture of ourselves from years back, we address it as being us, "when we were a kid" or "when we were younger." When in fact, the truth is we are that same person. We are. We've just seen a bit more time and a few more experiences. That is us, irregardless of the time.

I find that philosophy very interesting. For example, when I flip through my old, giddy, conceded journals of 9th grade, I often think about myself as someone different entirely-- as someone I don't and would never know... but it was and is certainly me. :S

so there it is, man. and if you're interested in checking out this guy. his name is wayne hoffman, just google/facebook/myspace him.

my room is cold

Ugh, I fell asleep repeatedly in my last class... after a double-shot.... uh-oh. That's probably a really bad thing.

Is that rain? or is that snow? The weather has been so confused these last couple weeks. My physics professor commented on the grass being confused. When we came back to Verm. on Monday afternoon, all the grass was brown, and today it's green again!!! :D Speaking of physics, I'm pretty sure I rocked my physics exam today. It was pretty much the first physics submission that felt good in oh... about a year.
Only 2 more labs.... only 2 more labs... only 2 more labs.

Omg! Did you know that the student-loan industry exceeds $85 billion a year!!! As a side-note, in order to spend one billion dollars, one would have to spend $50,000 dollars per day until retirement. holy shit.

Soda pop is gross.

My lit teacher asked me a bit ago what I was "really good at". To be completely frank, I don't excel at anything and it never really bothered me until now. I've always thought of myself as a fairly balanced individual with no particular strengths... so why'd she have to go and ask that??? I mean for job interviews and stupid questionnaires etc. I've always played the outgoing, self-confidant individual... but that's cause I wanted the job... Damn it!
The only think I've come up with is my religions class, reading, and umm... can I say I'm a pretty damn good older sister? I don't know. I'm not good at doing things on my own and I hate it. I love to dance, but I'm not good. I've been really bad about taking care of myself lately. I think I should strive to excel at something this year...
Hey! how about writing?! that's good. And giving back; all my life I've taken and I think it's time to give back. There you have it. Sometime before 2008, I will bust my ass to improve my writing abilities and the world around me. I feel all warm and fuzzy now. :D

A top-selling book in the state of Florida is, "Gourmet Cooking with Alpo (as in dog food)". Sorry I don't know more about this topic but my criminology prof. was talking about it today in class. Anyway, most of its buyers are senior citizens.... how fucking sad is that? How dare we let ourselves get here. If you are interested, I googled it (because that is of course, the most reliable way to research any topic) and there seems to be no published copy available to the internet audience. However there was single blurb about it at the end of an article (http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1319/is_n1_v30/ai_18304310) leading me to question it's validity... though I cannot write it off completely...

Emerill says to pick the pacific halibut over the atlantic halibut to help the dwindling population, fyi.
(<------That's a big-ass fish.)

I wanna go to the zoo. I don't want life to be wasted on me.

My Song

Did you know that the glove compartment is inaccurately named? Everybody does...
Doesn't it seem like happiness is inaccurately named at times, too?

What are we, mankind, going to do about our war-fetish?
I believe in peace. This I know. I may be confused as to my formal religious orientation, but I believe in peace. The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return. Faith, Hope, and Love—and the greatest of these is love. right?

In Lit 210 yesterday, I concluded that I am in fact a romantic humanist. I believe in the rights of the individual: free expression, love, freedom, equality, truth, but most importantly peace. I think that to create peace we must listen, really listen to each other and compromise. I’m not a Marxist but I really wish all humans were equal. I appreciate my “Westside, affluent,” upper-middleclass, suburban lifestyle more and more each day. However, I still take so much for granted; I can’t imagine a life without luxuries- indoor plumbing, electricity, Midol, an outfit for every occasion, phones- it’s just inconceivable to me. But, I can honestly say that I would be willing to give all that material up to live an equal existence with my fellow world citizens, so long as it meant a world without hatred.

This week I have decided that it is my personal mission in life to simply not hate and to help create a world where hatred is not existent. Call me an idealist; I don’t care, but I’m gonna do it. I don’t know how I’m going to create a career out of this… but it’s gonna happen.

I’ve started a habit of going through BBC’s “Day in Pictures”. It’s an amazingly quick way to keep up with most pressing news and keep reality in check. The quality of the photos is always phenomenal as well. There are usually 1 or 2 happy or emotionally-neutral photos, 1 of an inanimate object(s), perhaps an occasional animal pic, but the other 7ish are always of hatred, rebellion, poverty, or of a wrinkly old woman’s exhausted and hopeless face. I digress, rebellion is not necessarily a bad thing.

My personal favorite for this week was this one of the Queen.
Isn't it funny??

P.S. our o-zone is fucked:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/6524251.stm