Dropping Everything.

Maybe I should just drop what I'm doing and go work for peace in Zimbabwe. or Columbia. or Burundi. or Afghanistan. Why?

Because it's the right thing to do. And because I am completely free to do so-- I am not tied down to anything... except possibly my family and schooling. But you see, there's so much hatred and pain in the world. and I am affected by so little of it... it isn't fair. Maybe I should just say screw the self-plan. and leap into an unknown selfless journey.

I wonder if that's even possible...

one year later...

wow wow wow! so so so long.

jeez. Where to begin, k here's the thing.... I don't even know how long it's been 'cause I haven't looked at my past posts in a good 8 months. so... I'm guessing about a year. Lots of things can happen in a year. I personally, have:

• Moved houses
  
• Completed my year #2 of college-- successfully too
• Lost one of my best friends to a fuckin' guy
• Decided what i wanna do with my life
• Gone to Egypt
• Fallen in love with Arab culture
  
• Found a job that'll sustain my lifestyle
• Lead Taize (just last night actually!)
• Planned to go to Seattle for the summer
  
• Danced for peace
• Canceled Seattle summer plans, in favor of making money
• Found a peace worth working towards
• Studied Sufi
• Watch my lil' brother fly right by my height and continue with momentum
• Amongst many, many other things.

It's scary how quickly all that has gone by. woosh.... I'm still trying to recover--my heart doesn't seem to want to leave 4th grade. Sadly, the world has not yet stopped and waited for me to catch up. Every now and then I catch a little glimpse of the world past my own nose and here's some interesting stuff from just today....

• word to the wise: if you're prego, eat as much damn food as you want, regardless of what sex of a baby you're hoping for:
  http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/7358384.stm
  

• this is my son, Barack Obama...
  http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/7361057.stm
  

how great is this?Yay for: Protesters for Tibetan liberation, Max Ride books, Sufis, 1 more week of classes, Peru/Chile/Espana next year, the Sun (that has finally made a glorious appearance),
the Golden Bubbles, BBC's Planet Earth, Tay Zonday, iced coffee, the mbira dzavadsimu, and for all those who dance away the day.

Tired has become a perpetual state of mind in my life. I have little memory of functionality prior to this state. Seriously, everything must have been so much clearer. Even if I get what I would consider a full night’s sleep, I still have multiple people telling me that I look tired… aka a less direct way of saying you look like shit. There is nothing I’d rather do right now than slam my head down on this not-so-cushiony keyboard and pass out, but that is so not an option. We are a week from finals week. Meaning, I have 20 pages to write, with 0 done. I must also learn approximately 30 chapters of physics and a few chapters of anthropology. Ugh; I need something to look forward to, I’d like to think that I’m driving myself to the grave for a reason… but 3 years, ahem (ok let’s be honest) 4 years is too far off to see some positive repercussions.

Hillarie, Karina, Leah, Joanna, and I had a water balloon fight today because the 97º weather kind of took us by an unfortunate surprise. I actually enjoyed it whenever I was out of my room. See, the Housing Dept here at USD, doesn’t feel the need to flip on our A/C until the 10^th hot day in a row, which is kind of a bitch. So Jo went and bought a big-ass box fan today for like $11—probably the best $11 ever spent. After our fight we made Sunday dinner and had a merry ole time. :D It was good. So was Thursday night... top night.-->

So course load for next semester?, one may doubtably be interested in learning… well, I will be busy digging my grave deeper and deeper with my 18 credit load. It includes Criminal Law, Calc., Spanish, Writing and Research for CJus, and Geography (which will be my only sanity insurance). Ya, so if you have the chance, make sure you say hello to me over the summer. Well, until next time…

bathroom vortexes

I'm pretty sure that the funniest thing you can ever do in a bathroom is point the blower on the hand dryer directly at your face and simultaneously check out your reflection; it's fucking hilarious. I mean sure, your hair ends up looking like shit but at least you got a good laugh out of the deal and you can always tell your friends that you just went through a vortex. :D haha, oh God. Finals, in a week and a half?!?! hmm.... ya. tell me you're all envious... i know, i know.

There's nothing I want more than for finals to be over, however that would mean that it's summer. What was once the most splendid and euphonious time of year in Mikayla's life is now downcast by the fact that her best friend, and sole confidant, is leaving for the whole of the season- including Mikayla's birthday. Oh, and another dark shining tidbit about the upcoming summer is that Mikayla's expected job will require her to work nights, weekends, holidays, up to 14 days straight, and occasionally for periods of time exceeding 24 hours... my, what a gem.

Today is the first day of the rest of our lives, right... well God, does it have to be so bleak?? Oh God. I've heard rumors that blogs only ever turn into pity parties and it's so fucking true. Hopefully I'll add to this later in a more positive light... Wait! Fuck later; My family and I are moving!!! We won the bid on one of the most beautiful houses I've ever seen and we're moving in this summer!!! However it'll be a long-ass way away from our current residence... which sucks, but we'll manage. Here, I'll put in a picture for your personal enjoyment.

So, strange as this sounds, today a self-proclaimed mind-reader/illusionist said what I've been trying to for months:

"We are all actors and actresses, playing the role of adults."

When we look at a picture of ourselves from years back, we address it as being us, "when we were a kid" or "when we were younger." When in fact, the truth is we are that same person. We are. We've just seen a bit more time and a few more experiences. That is us, irregardless of the time.

I find that philosophy very interesting. For example, when I flip through my old, giddy, conceded journals of 9th grade, I often think about myself as someone different entirely-- as someone I don't and would never know... but it was and is certainly me. :S

so there it is, man. and if you're interested in checking out this guy. his name is wayne hoffman, just google/facebook/myspace him.